Fill ’er up with insults at gas pumps

Our thirsty sport utility vehicle recently gulped $121.70 in gas, but it didn’t come from the pump without a fight.

It took three rounds.

Round 1: The pump cut off at $50.

Round 2: The pump shut down at $50 again.

Round 3: The pump hit $21.70 and the belly of the beast was satisfied.

Price isn’t the only insult these days when you pay at the pump.

If you drive a big vehicle, you reach the debit- or credit-card limit before your tank fills.

This is typically $50 or $75, depending on what type card you carry and the gas station’s policies.

If you want more gas, you have to remove the nozzle from the car, hang it back on the holster, wait for a receipt, wait for the pump screen to say “thank you,” and then start over.

Visa, MasterCard and some other card issuers placed caps on transactions that don’t require a signature.

They say this prevents credit card fraud.

The rule makes little sense, however, considering that a thief can do the same thing that most customers do: just swipe the card again for more gas.

So, in effect, the procedure inconveniences thieves and frustrates customers.

There are no limits if you walk inside and pay with your card at the counter.

Speaking of going inside, how many times has the pump run out of receipt paper or ink after you get gas?

The next time it happens, press the intercom button and tell the clerk to bring a receipt out to your car because you’re paying at the pump.

And what about these lazy gas stations that don’t maintain their windshield wiper and paper towel dispensers? Does self-service mean you have to bring your own supplies?

Paying the old-fashioned way with cash isn’t so convenient anymore, either.

The numbers whirl by so fast that Billy the Kid couldn’t stop the pump on an even number.

But before you can squeeze the trigger, you have to carry money inside the station and prepay. Then you either have to know exactly how much gas you want or walk back inside to retrieve your change.

Of course, these days the chance of leftover change is a long shot.

Scott Morris is managing editor.