How those comfy crocs saved my life

Say what you want about those ugly plastic shoes, but the Crocs saved my life.

The lightweight foam shoes are cool, soft and comfortable.

They also make excellent insulation against electrocution, as I learned last weekend while changing a light fixture from atop a metal ladder.

I had already killed power from the switchbox so that the light in our home office wouldn’t turn on.

Satisfied it was safe, I started disconnecting the wires that hung from the ceiling.

When electricity shot down my arm, the Crocs provided enough insulation to soften the jolt.

My next discovery erased any doubts about the need for county commissioners to show some leadership and require building inspections in rural areas.

Three sets of wires were coming from the ceiling into the light fixture. Only one set was actually wired to the fixture. In a bizarre wiring scheme, the other two sets were on a separate circuit to lights on the front porch, foyer and coat closet.

To sever electricity to all the wires hanging from the ceiling, you have to flip two breakers instead of one.

A little research provided other cases where people claimed their Crocs saved them from electric shock.

On a Web site called footart.com.uk, a British woman wrote that she received a “massive electric shock” while standing on a wet kitchen floor. An electrician blamed an electrical short circuit and said her Crocs saved her life.

Notwithstanding their service as excellent electrical insulators, I love my old blue Crocs.

They are so comfortable that I wore them for a short time to work at night after the front doors were locked.

But I noticed that every time I walked up to co-workers, they stared at my shoes. Perhaps it was jealousy.

Crocs may present a hideous fashion statement, but they make every other shoe feel uncomfortable.

The key is the ventilation holes that keep your feet cool.

In a perfect world, men’s leather dress shoes would be riddled with holes about the size of a bullet.

This leads us, quite logically, to Bob Dylan.

Dylan sings about a man of questionable sanity who built a fire on Main Street and shot it full of holes.

I might try that with a pair of Rockports and save the Crocs for electrical work.