Innocent prank or absent-minded slight?

I called it an opportune prank. Regina said it was a case of me being unforgivably absent-minded.

With no tie breaker, we settled for our own rewards — I laughed and she faked hurt feelings.

How could a husband of so many years drive away from the Morgan Farmers Co-op on a Saturday morning and leave her inside shopping?

Good question. But it was awfully easy. She is so predictable. I could envision her coming out of the store, looking for our truck and declaring to anyone listening that the son-of-a-gun had left her. It wouldn’t take long for everybody inside the store to get in on her predicament. Here she was miles from home and stranded. She would talk.

In her mind, I left the U.S. 31 store, drove to Lowe’s, then The Home Depot, finally swinging by Wal-Mart and Kmart in my quest for garden plants.

She figured I’d get home in a couple of hours, never missing her, and go straight to the garden without going inside and telling her I was home.

The more she thought about her supposed dilemma the more hurt feelings she brewed. Hurt feelings at our house usually turn angry quickly.

Actually, I had driven around back to the co-op loading dock to pick up a bag of fertilizer. I didn’t see her inside the store and figured this would be a good practical joke.

I envisioned driving back to the front and there she would be, hands on hips, searching the highway in both directions. I was half correct; she had already done that and was heading back into the store when I reappeared.

“You forgot me, didn’t you?” she asked, and demanded a “yes” answer.

I explained it was a joke of sorts but I hoped from now on she would not get lost every time we enter a store together.

“I can’t believe you forgot me!” she repeated.